Some Bernard Matthews PR Ideas

I've some new slogans that the beleaguered avian product manufacturer might consider:

"Bernard Matthews Norfolk Farm Turkey. It's Bootiflu"
"Bernard Matthews - Birdiflu"
"Try my all-new Turkey Twizzlers - kids never get sick of them"

I'm not helping, am I?

A quick visit to the corporate website reveals some interesting turkey-related PR spinerry - and bases the miracle of turkey itself on the Superfood list of one Doctor Pratt: "His other 13 "superfoods" are: tomatoes, broccoli, beans, blueberries, tea, oats, pumpkin, yoghurt, walnuts, spinach, salmon, soy, and oranges."

"Dr Pratt says: "These foods prevent disease and extend our health span, and perhaps our life span as well." His research shows the foods could prevent or even reverse heart disease, diabetes, dementia and cancer."

Blimey - all of the world's major causes of death, plus diabetes for good measure - solved by eating (amongst other amazing products) Bernard's plump, juicy turkey bastards.