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05 July 2006

Late Night TV Phone-In Quiz Shows

I'm sure if you're American reading this, you'll have had these things for ages and won't understand why I'm so alarmed at them. There is a recent and rapidly-expanding trend for late-night call-in quiz-shows where you can win money by answering really fucking easy questions. They're not even really questions. They are word games. What's more, they are word games that you would play with a six-year-old.

The current game is this: there are prizes running from £2 to 4 thousand quid, with the callers having to append a noun (their guess) to a previously-given noun (on the board). They call in and wait, on hold, on a premium-rate phone line. Then they get to deliver their compound noun and check them against the list of previously-decided results hidden on the board.

The current noun is SUN, and so callers have to make a complete word that begins with sun and end with their own guess. You would not believe the answers that some people have been coming on national television to give. They even gave clues out, such as "you might find this in a car"...sun...VISOR. Yay. Here and there they double the prize monies, too. It's like, phone in and we'll give you some money. But no, Joe Public doesn't like those odds. Another clue: rub this in. Sun...CREAM. Woohoo.

Here are some examples of submitted answers:

Marie in Stratford, East London: derland. As in SUNderland. Oh Jesus Christ.

John from Peterborough: board. As in SUNboard. I beg your pardon?

Pete in Taunton: city, as in SunCITY, technically a proper noun, not to mention a European holiday resort built on ancient South African tribal lands and the sweat of poorly-paid local labour...and a bit daft too, really, though much better than Marie and John.

Steve from Bedford: seed. As in SUNseed. Not bad. Not there either.

Patricia in Hertfordshire: lotion. As in SUNlotion. Wasn't on the board. Oh, well.

Lovely link just happened, something I'm familiar with from radio days. The caller has the TV on in the background, because the numpty wants to hear how stupid he sounds on telly. The delay between speaking and hearing transmission buggers it all right up. Lots of howl and feedback and the most disjointed conversation possible. The lass on the show? She's just been very stern, telling viewers to turn their TV off when they take part on the show, as "it makes life very difficult for us!" So, go on, turn off your TV sets...all of you...

These poor presenters. Canned laughter and cheering. A nasty studio. They obviously consider it a move up from local radio or voiceover work, but to be honest, it's like hosting a quiz show in the style of QVC. The amount of filling they have to do between callers - is this because there are none, or is it because they want to keep them on hold paying £2.99 per second? - is enormous. But the unwavering enthusiasm with which the pair of them encourage callers, participation, sell the competition, remind viewers of possible prize money, and generally act all bubbly is a study in getting the job done.

Who is watching this drivel? Apart from me?

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you still watching it?

5/7/06 22:43

 
Blogger Simon W said...

no, I have been to sleep since then.

9/7/06 04:28

 

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